{"product_id":"vlad-the-impaler-funny-medieval-history-tote-bag","title":"Vlad the Impaler How to Greet Guide Bag","description":"\u003cp\u003eVlad the Impaler had one approach to 15th-century Ottoman diplomacy, and this checklist makes it very clear. A portrait of Wallachia's most notorious ruler sits beside four options, \"Offer Them Tea,\" \"Pay Tribute to the Sultan,\" \"Respect the Turbans,\" and only one box checked: \"Impale Them All.\" Perfect for anyone who skips small talk and goes straight to the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA HistoHead design, made for history buffs. Printed all over both sides of heavy-duty fabric, then cut and sewn into a finished bag. Made to order. Zero waste.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HistoHead","offers":[{"title":"Red","offer_id":54835183288666,"sku":"1454449_8904","price":46.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":54835183255898,"sku":"1454449_4533","price":46.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow","offer_id":54835183321434,"sku":"1454449_8905","price":46.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0949\/4980\/2330\/files\/default-mockup-red-15-15_c4c28e65-4531-43c5-b43e-ec5547e77f05.jpg?v=1790180697","url":"https:\/\/histohead.com\/products\/vlad-the-impaler-funny-medieval-history-tote-bag","provider":"HistoHead","version":"1.0","type":"link"}